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HEARD IT THROUGH THE HOPVINE
Craft Beer Combats Beetle Kill? Crazy Mountain Beer Company, based in the Vail Valley of Colorado, is doing its part to fight the beetle kill epidemic that has devastated the forests in that state. Over 1.5 million acres of trees have been affected by the pine beetle infestation currently devastating Colorado’s high country forests, the largest blight ever seen in North America. In an effort to help clean up the dead trees, which are a danger during fire season, CMBC is hand-crafting each and every one of its tap handles out of the branches from trees that have been killed by the mountain pine beetle. Obviously, a lot of handles will need to be made to impact the blight, so the Crazy Mountain gang ain’t so crazy after all! Can you handle it?…

You ALWAYS remember your first girl! Maybe that’s why this year’s St. Pauli Girl model looks so familiar. She is Katarina Van Derham, named the 2010 St. Pauli Girl spokesmodel, marking the first time in the history of the brewer’s iconic promotion that the same woman has served as the busty Bavarian barmaid for two consecutive years. You can check her out at stpauligirl.com. If you think I’m in error for saying “Bavarian” for St. Pauli, consider that Van Derham is a native of Slovakia, not Germany, and now lives in… wait for it… Los Angeles. Ja, ist gut!…

With the help of Emmy-winning actor Ray Romano, Oskar Blues’ Dale’s Pale Ale makes its first national television debut on Men of a Certain Age, TNT’s newest original series. Men of a Certain Age explores the unique bonds of male friendship. Joe (Romano) is a friendly, slightly neurotic, recently separated father of two who had dreams of being a professional golfer but now owns and runs a party store. And party he does … with Oskar Blues! Can you believe it? (Yes, you can. Or, yes, you can!) The men meet poolside and end up having an all-night party featuring a special guest, Dale’s Pale Ale. In a can, natch!…

The year 2010 is the 90th anniversary of the start of the dark ages imposed by the 13 years of national Prohibition, when the U.S. went dry. Congressman Andrew Volstead, for whom the Volstead Act was named, was a congressman from Minnesota. Hopefully, he is spending eternity sitting on one of the state’s 10,000 frozen lakes without a beer to keep him warm. Without eternal vigilance, we may just go there again. Defend your beer! (And pass one over to me, while you’re at it…)

While we arrogant bastards enjoy our Stone beer, consider our Stone Age forebears’ drinking habits. Maybe they were better off than we thought. As early as 9,000 years ago, according to an article in The New York Times, inhabitants of a Neolithic village in China were brewing a type of mead, or fermented honey and fruit, with an alcohol content of 10%! Patrick McGovern, a biomolecular archaeologist at the University of Pennsylvania Museum, made this discovery recently. The finding fits with the thesis that the development of agriculture was the result of an irrepressible impulse toward drinking and intoxication. “Consuming high-energy sugar and alcohol was a fabulous solution for surviving in a hostile environment with few natural resources,” said Dr. McGovern, a leading expert on ancient brewing. Hoist one for our Stone Age brothers…

You think your job is, um, full of manure? When the Budweiser team of Clydesdales comes to town, they sometimes deliver beer, often just one case per bar. Scooting around behind the beer wagon you’ll find a couple of guys in a golf cart equipped with two shovels and a big barrel. Nice job. Shoveling this sort of stuff is similar to being the Presidential press secretary. Neither one passes the smell test…

A 25-year-old man in Thibodaux, La., did not take “no” very well as a response to his demand for more beer. Lafourche sheriff’s spokeswoman Lesley Hill Peters said the man was accused of breaking furniture and throwing a beer bottle at a woman after she refused to give him the car keys so he could buy more beer on a Monday night, according to the Associated Press. The man admitted to deputies he’d been drinking before the argument with the 29-year-old alleged victim. The suspect was booked for aggravated assault and disturbing the peace. Peters said the man did not hit the alleged victim with the beer bottle. Too much beer apparently affects your pitching arm as well as your judgment…

Half Moon Bay Brewing Company, taking note of California’s economic predicament, is proud to introduce its newest beer — Mavericks Budgetary Alement. I guess you could call it a strong ale for a weak economy. But just think: By buying this ale, you can be part of the solution by supporting RepairCalifornia.org, a group of Californians for a state constitutional convention. A buck for every bottle sold of Mavericks Budgetary Alement goes to Repair California. How unconventional… One suggestion to keep money in America is to spend it only on yard sales, ball games, prostitutes, craft beer and tattoos (these being the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.). So, be patriotic! Go to a ball game and drink beer all day with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale! You can’t get more patriotic than that…

 

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