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HEARD IT THROUGH THE HOPVINE
Red Beer, Blue Beer Dept.: The good folks at National Media Research Planning and Placement have taken it upon themselves to chart the correlation between beer preference and one’s political partisan leanings. The research suggests that BudMillerCoors light beers and anything low-calorie leans Republican. Rolling Rock, Miller High Life (hipster beer) and craft beer, on the other hand, lean Democratic. So, do beers without substance equal political leanings of a similar nature? That’s just too easy… A new Anaheim, Calif., brewery called Hoparazzi Brewing (that’s not the joke) introduced some of its beer at the Orange County Brew Ho Ho. Brewery wags Lisa Perez and Bill Sobieski came up with the name for a barrel-aged sour made with peaches… Mission Impechable!

A quick-thinking off-duty Houston firefighter saved a beer truck in flames by dousing the burning brakes with… beer! Capt.  Craig Moreau was driving on State Highway 71 near Austin, Texas, one night when he witnessed smoke funneling out of a truck’s brakes. He pulled over to help the driver, whose fire extinguisher was not keeping up with the expanding flames. After a tire exploded, Moreau ordered the driver to open the truck and toss him some tallboys of Coors Banquet. “I shook them up and popped a top one at a time until the fire was out and the brakes were cool,” said Moreau. That good old Rocky Mountain spring water is great for fighting fires…

This happened to an Englishman in France. No, really. A French policeman stopped a car and asked the English gentleman if he had been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admitted that he had been drinking all day, that his daughter had just gotten married to a Frenchman, and that he had drunk champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception and quite a few glasses of single malt thereafter. The policeman proceeded to give him an Alcotest (breath test) and asked the Englishman if he knew under French law why he had just been arrested. The Englishman answered with humor, “No! Do you know that this is a British car and that my wife is the driver… on the other side?”…

In honor of Colorado’s history-making new marijuana laws, West Flanders Brewing in Boulder (where else?) is releasing a new beer called Recreational Smoke. Our Rocky Mountain High reporter Marty Jones notes that the beer is a homegrown, fully legal American-style porter. Recreational Smoke is enhanced with beech wood–smoked malts from Germany. These specialty grains are paired with an array of other baked and toasted malts to create a unique beer with notes of chocolate and brownies and satisfying smoked flavors throughout, all rolled up in a heady beer with a mellow 6% abv. The beer is on sale at West Flanders Brewing for just 30 cents per ounce. West Flanders customers are allowed to purchase up to 16 ounces of the beer at a time inside the brewpub. Customers can take the beer home in quantities of 64 ounces in West Flanders Brewing’s custom glassware. Pairs nicely with Screaming Yellow Zonkers…

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up Dept.: South Carolina authorities say a 44-year-old woman, angry at a man for returning home without beer on Christmas Eve, beat and stabbed him with a ceramic squirrel. The Charleston County Sheriff’s Office says that deputies found a man covered with blood when they arrived at Helen Williams’s North Charleston home early one Wednesday. She told investigators the man had fallen and cut himself, but she couldn’t explain why her hands and clothes were also bloody. The injured man said Williams was so angry when he returned without beer (because stores were closed on Christmas Eve) that she grabbed a ceramic squirrel, beat him on the head and then stabbed him in the shoulder and chest. We’ll assume she was arrested for assault with a deadly squirrel…

Rogue Ales & Spirits has released a new beer called One Brew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, in honor of famed writer, merry prankster and consummate Deadhead Ken Kesey. Kesey could have gone anywhere with his fame and his typewriter, but he chose to stay on the family farm in Pleasant Hill, Ore. Rogue has likewise kept its roots and its farms in Oregon. Rogue has brewed a distinctly Northwest beer to honor one of its own, using farmstead hops as well as barley that was grown, floor-malted and micro-malted at Rogue Farms in Tygh Valley and Independence, Ore. Kesey’s “dare, risk, dream” revolutionary spirit shaped a generation, according to the Rogue brewers, and lives on in the work of people who followed him (including the founders of Rogue Ales & Spirits). A portion of the proceeds will be contributed to the Ken Kesey Fund at the University of Oregon Libraries. Next, we would expect the Rogue troupe to honor Kesey’s famed ’37 International Harvester bus with a beer named Further…
 

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