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APRIL/MAY 2015 » BACK TO HOPVINE INDEX
 
HEARD IT THROUGH THE HOPVINE
Ron Chestnut, 89 years of age, was stopped by police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night. Ron replied, “I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.” The officer asked incredulously, “Really? Who’s giving that lecture at this time of night?” Ron replied, “That would be my wife."…

Anheuser-Busch InBev is introducing a new beer delivery app, the Bud Light Button, which allows consumers to have the company’s products delivered to their doors. ABI partnered with digital innovation agency AKQA and “platform provider” Klink to create the service, which launched recently in the Washington, D.C., market. Consumers can order between one and 100 cases of beer and have the beer delivered by Klink (via an independent retailer) within an hour, ABI says. The system should pay for itself in DUI citations avoided. Progress… The service will dovetail with Bud Light’s existing “Up for whatever” program by offering additions like Bud Light–branded gear and “Up for whatever experiences” on certain deliveries. “Once in a while, we’re going to deliver a really over-the-top experience,” said Lucas Herscovici, Anheuser-Busch vice president of consumer connections. “Maybe that means we show up with a DJ who turns your gathering of friends into an amazing event.” Hmm… do craft breweries have VPs of consumer connections? Better get on that…

An Icelandic microbrewery has announced that its new beer will be flavored with smoked whale testicles. Let’s hope the whale is safely dead for this. The Stedji brewery’s Hvalur 2 beer is being sold for a limited period to mark the Icelandic midwinter month of Thorri. The testicles of fin whales (which are an endangered species) are cured “according to an old Icelandic tradition” before being salted and smoked. Just when you’re thinking “It must take a lot of balls to make that beer,” we find out that only one testicle is being used per brew. “We want to create a true Thorri atmosphere, and therefore we decided to use smoked testicles from fin whales for flavouring the beer,” says Dagbjartur Ariliusson, a co-owner of the brewery. Does whale nut beer mean never having to say you’re Thorri? Well, sometimes you feel like a nut…

Instead of 99 beers on the wall, there will be 99 on tap. Kurt Huffman of ChefStable wants to have the world’s largest selection of Oregon beers on tap. And he plans to achieve that goal by this April. The Oregonian reports that Huffman plans to open The Loyal Legion in the former Portland Police Athletic Association building at SE 6th and Alder in the burgeoning Central Eastside Industrial district. The Loyal Legion is named after an old loggers union employment agency. “We’re looking for something much more rooted in Portland’s past. A lot of the work we’re doing now [is asking]: What does it mean to be an Oregon craft beer hall?” Can’t you hear the late Don Younger saying irritably, “It’s not about the beer; it’s about the BEER!”…

While millions of shoppers throughout the United States were fighting cold weather and crowds for the best deals, hundreds of people in Portland, Ore., overwhelmed a vegan strip club in the early morning hours of Black Friday. (Wait, a vegan strip club?) Casa Diablo, billed as the world’s first vegan strip club, held its first-ever Black Friday sale on November 28 and was clearly unprepared for the onslaught of excited (we just bet they were) customers who braved the rain for hours for the club’s 5 a.m. opening. Patrons of the Northwest Portland establishment got into a brawl over 59-cents-a-minute lap dances, despite the club’s attempt to be prepared by having 24 dancers available that morning. “We were utterly blown away by the number of customers who showed up this morning,” said Cruelty-free Cleopatra, one of the club’s most popular dancers. Note to Cruelty-free Cleopatra: When referring to strip club customers, “blown away” might be a poor choice of words…

Beer blogger and enthusiast Mark Slattery (aka the Denver Beer Guy) thinks that with all the new beers coming out, the beer-loving pub customer needs samples to try before buying a pint. Putting his money where his mouth is, he’s opening a new tap room called First Draft, which will allow you to do just that. Using iPourIt, a self-service tap technology system, Slattery is bringing Denver’s first serve-yourself beer bar to the new 2601 Larimer development in River North. Slattery is aiming for an early summer opening for First Draft, which will feature a rotating selection of 40 craft beers, ciders and wines. The iPourIt system allows customers to open a tab and pour their own beers, using wristbands to track how much they pour (and owe!). Sensors on the taps, accurate to one-tenth of an ounce, compute your bill. Slattery could have called his new place Taste Your Ass Off but didn’t…

I’ll leave you with this final thought from Thank You Notes by Jimmy Fallon: “Thank you, microbreweries, for making my alcoholism seem like a neat hobby.”…
 

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