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OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2016 » BACK TO HOPVINE INDEX
 
HEARD IT THROUGH THE HOPVINE
Fort George Brewery on the beautiful Oregon coast has an announcement to make. Like the iPhone 7, this year’s Fresh IPA (single-hopped with wet Amarillos) will also be released without a headphone jack, reports the brewery’s Brad Blaser. Thanks, Brad… Upset Hindus are pissed at the Belgium-based brewery called The Musketeers and want the brewery to apologize and withdraw a beer label with an image of the Hindu god Lord Ganesh from its Jack’s Precious IPA, calling it highly inappropriate. Lord Ganesh’s image is shown on the beer label holding a chef’s knife in one hand and a sausage in the other, with the brewery’s trademark symbol on his head. Lord Ganesh still has two more hands and, as he has the head of an elephant, could be holding something in his trunk as well. Highly inappropriate…

The blog-o-Twittersphere lit up recently with the news that the Bosteels family sold its eponymous Belgian brewery founded in 1791 to, ahem, AB InBev. The seven-generation brewer, maker of classics DeuS, Kwak and (a personal favorite) Tripel Karmeliet, handed over the reins to the world’s largest brewer, to no little consternation among the beer cognoscenti. NorCal beer scribe Mario Rubio, predicting a future beer, quipped, “Karmeliet-a-rita?” Washington’s Alan Moen observed the situation with a Dylanesque “Everybody must get owned.” Apparently, Bosteels was not all it was Kwak-ed up to be… In addition to the beers Cosmic Brewery of Torrance, Calif., has been brewing for a while, like Hell Hound Brown and Cosmonaut California Blonde, new brews on offer are Bagpipe, obviously a Scottish ale (no Kilt Lifter for these guys), and a saison with the salacious name of Tulips on My Organ. Ahem…

The Dust Bowl brew crew in Turlock, Calif., with their Grapes of Wrath imagery, created some new beers perhaps dovetailing on this year’s presidential race. Welcome the Taco Truck beers. With Hillary as our President (according to the Donald), we can expect to find taco trucks on every street corner in America. Oh, goodie… Connecticut’s Thomas Hooker Brewery (no relation to the ladies of the night) ran a clever invite to its open house with a picture of the Donald in a sombrero saying, “What a deal… Mexico will be paying for my open house admission.” The tagline? “Whoever is paying… the Hooker open house has been making America great for years!” A Hooker you can believe in… The 5 Rabbit brewery in Chicago pulled its beers out of a bar in Trump Plaza and released a golden ale named Chinga tu Pelo (roughly meaning “Fuck Your Hair” in Mexican slang) in protest. That beer sold out, and all proceeds went to charity. And thanks to our good buddy and amigo Gregg Glaser for this…

I was sent a questionnaire inquiring about food issues for the judges’ dinner at this year’s Great American Beer Festival. They wanted to know about dietary restrictions, allergies and nutritional lifestyles. They gave lots of options and said to check all that applied. I checked only two: omnivore and Baconatarian. Clearly, this is not your father’s GABF… What do the Beatles and BrewDog have in common? Okay, both start with a B. You got me. How about the principals of each have been awarded the OBE (Order of the British Empire) by the Queen? Not the rock group, silly, the actual Queen. James Watt and Martin Dickie, founders of BrewDog (and flagrantly Scottish, btw), were recently given the honor by Queen Elizabeth on her birthday. No title comes with the OBE, but you may kiss their rings if you’re so inclined. Rod Stewart was knighted, so you may now call him Sir Rod. And thanks, Tim White, for the stunning news…

Kids, don’t try this at your beer store: An Alabama man is wanted for a clever grocery store scam. Central Alabama CrimeStoppers said Darius Williams, 22, posed as a beer delivery driver and entered grocery stores with a large cart. He loaded up the cart with cases of beer and soda and rolled the cart out of the store, where he placed the items in his car and drove away. Williams wears a uniform and has been convincing enough to fool several store managers in the area, according to reports. Williams is wanted on four counts of theft of property… And please take note of the long-lived Mildred Bowers from South Carolina, who will soon turn 103 and has told anyone looking to match her innings that a beer a day goes a long way to keeping her feeling fit and young. Bowers currently enjoys a four o’clock beer every day in her assisted-living facility, and she cites it as a “critical part of my daily routine,” though it took her nurses some convincing when she first floated the idea. Her doctor agrees, so now she’s only following “doctor’s orders”…
 

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